TOTAL · NO-NONSENSE · GAINS
Bognor Regis' premier gym — mainly because it's the only one that'll admit it's next to the arcade. Real weights. Real questionable life choices. Real sea air (when the window's open).
The Timetable
45 minutes of lifting heavy things and questioning your career choices at the same volume.
Pilates, but the instructor keeps getting distracted by seagulls through the window.
High intensity cycling that goes absolutely nowhere, much like the 8:02 to Barnham.
Interval training followed by a mandatory sit-down and a chat about the weather.
Gentle mobility work designed specifically to be undone by a post-workout battered sausage.
For newcomers. "Beginner" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence too.
Membership
"I came for the gains. I stayed because I couldn't remember my cancellation login."
— Dave, Member Since Tuesday
"Genuinely the only gym I've been to where the treadmill and the tide come in at the same speed."
— Sandra, Personal Best: Showing Up
"Five stars. Would sweat here again, possibly by accident."
— Kev, Occasional Attendee
Find Us
We're tucked just off the seafront, past the arcades, near the smell of chips. If you reach the sea, you've gone one door too far.
Opening hours are best described as "aspirational." Ring the bell twice; if nobody answers, we're on a tea break.